My husband of two years is very sociable and has many close friends that we meet up with. But he also has a clingy friend who comes to our home every Friday and stays until Sunday afternoon. I am often lying around in very little clothes or feeding our baby.

One morning he bumped into me n*ked in the bathroom.
I feel as though my privacy is being invaded. My husband just expects me to chat to him but I am getting angry and we end up having huge fights. If I blame my husband, his friend jumps in and ticks me off… Even on our first anniversary supper this man turned up at the restaurant and joined us for coffee. My husband promises to talk to him but nothing has changed.
He calls my husband every day. This man is nice and he loves our daughter, but I feel as if I am in competition with him for my husband’s attention. How can I stop him?

– A married lady in Lagos sent this to Aunty Julie. Her reply below:

Neither your husband nor his friend are being fair to you. To use Princess Diana’s much quoted phrase, there are three of us in this marriage. No wife would want another man there all weekend, leaving her little time to be with her husband. It is difficult enough to find time to just be a couple when there is a new baby, let alone when there is someone else there all the time. So talk to your husband once more and ask him to tell his friend that you want more time as a couple. It would be fine if came for supper sometimes, but not nearly so frequently.

If your husband does nothing then you should talk to his friend yourself. Explain that you like him but you want more time as a couple. You could offer to find him a girlfriend to keep him occupied.

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